LET THEM THROW A FIT.

How Not to Let Someone Else’s Tantrum Knock You Off Center

One of the hardest lessons in life—and one of the most freeing—is learning to let go of other people’s opinions and emotions. That’s what Mel Robbins calls The Let Them Theory: stop trying to control, fix, or carry what isn’t yours.

Because often, you’ll come across someone who rants, vents, pouts, rages—and their energy just drains you.

Even if you’ve done your self-care, the journaling, the meditation, started your day aligned and centered… you can still feel guilt for being knocked off by someone else’s negativity. And then you linger there—blaming them for ruining your vibe, blaming yourself for letting it get to you. Before you know it, your perfect, aligned day—your MOJO—is just gone.

Since I started pottery, something my husband says often when he’s going through something has been resonating with me: being knocked off balance. When you’re throwing clay, the tiniest wobble can throw the whole piece off center. It’s such a perfect image to illustrate a feeling that I have most days taking in other people’s energy.

Yesterday was a perfect example.I came out of a wonderful pottery session, relaxed and happy. Then I got a call from my kids’ dad (EX-husband by the way). He launched into a vent about an after-school activity schedule that didn’t work for him—and somehow, I was suddenly the culprit.

I felt myself get defensive, triggered. I raised my voice back. In my head I was screaming: “How f**ing dare you ruin my perfect solo Sunday activity?!”

But then I remembered Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory. In Chapter 7, When Grown-Ups Throw Tantrums, she reminds us: emotions are like chemicals firing in the brain. They burst and move through the body in about 6 seconds. And sometimes, adults throw tantrums because no one ever taught them emotional regulation as kids.

So instead of matching his rage with my own, I tried to shift. I thought about how I handle my kids when they’re dysregulated—I have way more compassion. I let them ride out the burst. So why not let other adults go through that phase too?

That doesn’t mean being a doormat. Boundaries matter. But it does mean choosing compassion over judgment, and letting grown-ups have their tantrums without letting it knock me off my center.

Because the real freedom comes when you let go—not just of someone’s tantrum, but of the weight of their opinions, their projections, their emotional storms. You don’t have to carry it. You don’t have to fix it.

Thanks Mel Robbins for this valuable lesson. You can buy her book HERE

💡 If I were coaching you, I’d ask : When was the last time someone’s reaction knocked you off center—and what would it look like if you chose to “let them” instead of letting it drain your power?